that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
