I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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