my sisters under your porch take her home
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
