we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
