you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
