This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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