I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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