i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
