Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
