how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
