i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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