I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
