THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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