margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
