I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
apparently the secret to your success is patron
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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