My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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