p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
