i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My penis needs a shock collar
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize