I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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