Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
