sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
only you would photoshop your dick
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
