Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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