i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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