therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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