a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
