best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
