your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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