I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize