I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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