The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize