better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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