it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
