The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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