no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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