If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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