I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize