also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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