Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
