Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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