is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
