I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
