after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
