he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
