Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
