i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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