quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
