I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My cat gives me a boner
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
