I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
