If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
