She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
