We're like a lot better than the average bears
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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