like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
