Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I looked at my own cervix.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We were destined to go to rehab together
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
