Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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