Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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