Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
