i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
