You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
