I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize